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BigMoneyBirdDog
BigMoneyBirdDog👑'Murica🧙
3d ago

Quake Champions: How to Kill a Legacy With One Magic Button

Overall
0.5out of 10
Terrible
Woke
3out of 10
Woke
Gameplay:5/10
Story:0/10
Graphics:6.3/10
Audio:5.4/10
Replayability:0/10
Scoring Weights: Action GamesScoring Weights for Action GamesScoreWeight% of TotalGameplay5440%Story00.55%Graphics6.3110%Audio5.41.515%Replayability0330%Weighted Avg: 34.4 ÷ 10 = 3.44Wokeness Penalty:Score (3) × Weight (-1) = -3Final Score (rounded to nearest 0.5):3.44 (avg) − 3 (penalty) = 0.44 → 0.5
Wokeness: -1Gameplay: 40%Story: 5%Graphics: 10%Audio: 15%Replayability: 30%

Quake Champions is a good arena shooter buried under a mountain of hero-shooter bullshit it never needed. If you grew up dominating in Quake III: Arena or the original Quake, this game is going to feel like someone took your favorite muscle car and slapped a spoiler kit and underglow on it. It trades the pure, even-footing gunplay that made the franchise legendary for active character abilities and battle-pass bloat. And Quake Champions wasn't alone in this sin. Over the last decade, game executives became completely obsessed with chasing the Overwatch money train, and in doing so, they screwed several classic franchises and killed off promising arena shooters by trading raw skill for cheap magic buttons.

The gameplay is where you'll feel the most betrayed. In the old days, every player spawned exactly the same. Winning meant better map control, better aim, and better movement. Period. Now, the game introduces "Champions" with unique active abilities and different health pools. Some clown can push a button to see through walls or teleport into you for an instant kill. That completely breaks the pure tactical control that made classic Quake the gold standard of competitive shooters. Losing a duel because someone pressed an ultimate ability button feels cheap and unearned, and no amount of nostalgia bait in the map design changes that fundamental problem.

The engine is another gut punch. Instead of using id Software's internal tech, development was outsourced to Saber Interactive. The result is poor optimization, stuttering, and loading screens long enough to make you question your life choices. The environments look decent on paper but don't feel true to the gritty roots of the series, and the visual identity is further destroyed by gaudy holiday weapon skins and goofy cosmetic outfits that have no business existing in a Quake game. You used to fear the guy rounding a corner with a railgun. Now he's wearing a Santa hat.

The audio is serviceable but forgettable. Weapon sound effects carry some weight, and footstep awareness still matters for map control. But the announcer lacks the legendary grit of older titles, and the heavy metal soundtrack feels painfully generic compared to the groundbreaking industrial tracks by Nine Inch Nails or Sonic Mayhem that defined the franchise's identity. It's background noise instead of atmosphere.

As for the roster and modern sensibilities, here's the deal. The champion lineup checks every diversity box you'd expect from a modern title, but honestly, that's the least of this game's problems. The real insult to Quake diehards isn't representation—it's the fact that characters no longer share the same model size, speed, or health pool. The entire philosophy of the original games was that everyone was equal, and skill alone separated the gods from the corpses. That principle is dead here, replaced by ability cooldowns and character meta picks straight out of a MOBA.

The bottom line: Quake Champions had the bones to be something great. The movement still feels fast, the weapons still hit hard, and there are flashes of that old magic when two skilled players are trading rails across a map. But the hero mechanics, the outsourced engine, and the cosmetic carnival dragging down the atmosphere make it impossible to recommend to anyone who loved what Quake used to stand for. If you want a pure arena shooter, go play Quake Live. This ain't it.

55

Comments (2)

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Gary Write
Gary Write@garywrite·3d ago

Damn. Quake III was the shit back in the day.

28
BigMoneyBirdDog
BigMoneyBirdDog👑'Murica🧙@BigMoneyBirdDog·3d ago

Nothing will ever top the pure, chaotic bliss of standard weapons, perfect maps, and simple rocket jumps from the golden era.

25
Gary Write
Gary Write@garywrite·3d ago

Damn. Quake III was the shit back in the day.

28
BigMoneyBirdDog
BigMoneyBirdDog👑'Murica🧙@BigMoneyBirdDog·3d ago

Nothing will ever top the pure, chaotic bliss of standard weapons, perfect maps, and simple rocket jumps from the golden era.

25