I wanted to love this game. I had high hopes for Hazelight Studios' next venture. What I got instead was a watered-down experience that felt like it was designed by a committee afraid to offend anyone while simultaneously managing to be offensive in the laziest way possible.
Let's start with the gameplay, because that's what actually matters. Split Fiction is disappointingly easy—so easy that it strips away any sense of accomplishment or challenge. The puzzles are telegraphed from a mile away, the platforming sections feel like they're holding your hand through a kindergarten obstacle course, and the combat encounters might as well not exist. Where It Takes Two kept you on your toes with creative mechanics that required genuine coordination and problem-solving, Split Fiction plays it safe to the point of being boring. There's no bite, no edge, nothing that makes you lean forward in your seat.
Then there's the writing, which manages to be both preachy and lazy at the same time. The female protagonist's character arc is built around tired, ham-fisted attempts at relatability that come across as pandering rather than genuine character development. Instead of writing a compelling woman with real depth and agency, the writers leaned into every tired trope in the book, including cringe-worthy dialogue that feels like it was ripped from a Twitter thread. This isn't representation—it's tokenism dressed up as progress, and it insults the intelligence of anyone paying attention.
Everything else about the game sits firmly in "meh" territory. The visuals are competent but uninspired. The voice acting ranges from acceptable to grating. The story never finds its footing, bouncing between attempted emotional beats that fall flat and humor that doesn't land. It's the kind of game that desperately wants you to feel something but can't figure out what that something should be.
Split Fiction had the potential to be something special, but it squandered it by playing it safe where it should have taken risks and forcing ideology where it should have focused on craft.
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